Even if your boyfriend is completely over his ex-girlfriend (and we hope he is if he is with you) sometimes it’s tough for us to avoid comparing or even asking questions about HER, and if she is still in the picture ie., they are still friends, then getting over that relationship is even tougher. And like it or not even if you haven’t had to deal with an ex-girlfriend in one of your relationships sooner or later you will have to and we are here to help you through it!
If you need to ask questions about his ex for some reason then keep them specific and brief. Remember the reason for the question and if it doesn’t serve a real purpose to know then don’t ask.
Avoid comparing yourself to her, even if your competitive nature drives you to it. Remind yourself that he is with you and not with her and that is what really matters.
If you are feeling a little insecure about his ex then don’t be afraid to share your feelings with your boyfriend. Let him know that you are feeling a little insecure and allow him to reassure you that you are the one he loves and not her. Sometimes a little reassurance can go a long way.
Don’t obsess over her or their relationship. That can be crazy-making for you and will come out in some way shape or form in your relationship. If you are intensely jealous and freaking out over her with your boyfriend that will definitely be a turn-off.
Don’t try to figure out “why” you might feel jealous or curious about her. It’s perfectly normal to have questions about your boyfriend’s ex and many of those random thoughts include questions like “Was he in love with her? What did she look like? Did he love her more than me? Was she prettier than me? Why did they break up?” and so on. The less you know the more curious you may be but that doesn’t mean you need to go on a quest to find out more information about her or her relationship with your man. Don’t beat yourself up for having the thoughts you have, they are just harmless thoughts that are perfectly normal. Allow yourself to have them but then let them pass without trying to figure out the answers. This may seem tough at first but eventually you will stop thinking about her as you continue having a great relationship.
Please share any stories you have about dealing with your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend!
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