How to deal with a psycho ex girlfriend

"Dont ever ask him a question again, or Ill be more than just not happy." This was the implied text message threat I received, when I simply texted a male acquaintance a question about his friend. Of course, his girlfriend just had to answer for him, and became upset, upon discovering I was a female communicating with her boyfriend. And all I did was ask a question. And thats it? Well, then I thought, okay, if his girlfriend is answering his cell phone messages and controlling who he talks to, then Im not the problem here. While Im only an innocent bystander in this situation, I cant imagine what you boyfriends have to go through...in the case of the psycho ex-girlfriend!

Most people would tell you to walk away, cut all contact - only to discover that it only makes the psycho chica even angrier! She becomes suspicious, and might investigate - *ahem* stalk - you, until she finds out the so-called scandalous little secret youre hiding from her. So, in this situation, the only thing you can do is ask a girl for advice. Why? Because I am a girl, and I know how our minds work. (Just make sure your ex GF isnt reading this...)

1. Remove All Evidence

First of all, if you dont want her to snoop through your belongings, then dont give her any belongings to snoop. Make time for yourself (maybe the bathroom is the only chance you have) to delete all text messages, calls, voicemail, emails, etc. that would arouse her unnecessary paranoia. Never give out or type your password when shes around (she might be watching your hands), and add her to your limited profile on Facebook, if she doesnt have any friends who can access your full profile (either that, or block/put everyone on a limited profile, get off Facebook, or dont accept any friend requests from people you dont know that might be her in disguise). Dont let her search documents on your computer; she might be searching for an IP address or files to incriminate you. Make sure your phone bill or credit card information remains confidential, so she cant track your records of where youve been, and what youve (possibly) done. That reminds me - whatever you do, make sure she doesnt buy a GPS system....

2. Dont Be A Peeping Tom

When youre talking to her face-to-face, resist the temptation to look at attractive women. I know, its hard - its natural and needed for your eyes to move - but even if you try to peek at a woman subtly, she will notice the lustful tint in your eye that may be impossible to control. And other body language speaks, too. The only way you can sneak these in is if you can guarantee something to distract her for a long enough period of time ("Oh my god, its Zac Efron!" Hmm...What about, "Oh look, isnt that your best friends boyfriend kissing another woman?" Ding!)

3. Bros Before "Hos"

Also, try to only restrict her contact with a few of your friends (and not the blabbermouth ones!) The more of your friends she knows, the more sources she can use to hunt you down (house=not good)! Is she attached to you, like a siamese twin is to her sister? Talk about disgusting places or things typically men would understand - perhaps member inquiries, business meetings, house league football games... Hey, you dont want to hear about our periods, right?

4. Symptoms of A Psycho

Now, sometimes, its hard to recognize the controlling, possessive, jealous, crazy girlfriend prototype, when you just met or started dating her. Here are a few warning signs:

a) She already memorizes or adjusts your schedule for you. (Youre a person; you have a right to privacy, you know. Eating, sleeping...)

b) She seems to turn up everywhere you are, even if you didnt make any plans meeting with her.

c) Shes a very insecure, needy person (this is why shes always questioning you; she doubts that anyone could commit to someone like her. In other words, she has low self-esteem). You can try complimenting her and showering her with gifts to make her feel important, but if shes extremely desperate or lacking in confidence, this might render a hopeless remedy.

d) She constantly contacts you, in any shape or form. (Beware of her emergency reasons for messaging you i.e. homework, health, family; it could just be a trap).

e) When youre together, she wont let go of your hand, or initiate PDA in front of people, especially girls. If she refuses to let you out of her sight, she wants you all to herself, because, psychologically, she might feel she has nothing without you. But, dont allow her to manipulate your vulnerability to her emotions. Shell keep on repeating it, in hopes of fulfilling the void in her heart that keeps on re-appearing.

And thats all I can say. Some "psycho" (ex) girlfriends dont display any of these symptoms - until the very last minute you "betray" them, and then they plot revenge, when you least expect it. Theyre that good at playing their game. Just dont give out your number or address to a girl you dont know, because if you do, just remember - she knows where you live...
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How to forget about your ex girlfriend

You went through all the motions of a breakup, from the lonely evenings alone to the drunken nights out with the guys, and youre ready to begin a new relationship with a woman youve been eyeing for a while. But youre wondering how to go about forgetting your ex completely so that you can start this new relationship from a fresh perspective. Read on for the 10 steps you should take to do just that.

1- Accept reality: Shes gone

 

This first step may take longer for some than for others, depending on how serious the relationship was. Obviously, if you were living with your ex, youll have a harder time accepting the breakup than if you only dated seriously for a few months.

The sooner you accept the reality that she is not coming back, the sooner you can begin to move on with your new love. So stop that little voice from telling you that shes going to "come to her senses" and call you.

2- Clear your head

 

I dont mean for this to sound "self-help-y" or anything, but you have to let go of the anger and hurt that youre feeling about your past relationship. If you dont, you will just drag it into the new relationship, which can spell disaster.

For instance, you may misinterpret your new girlfriends behavior because of the ways in which your ex reacted. Or you may take out your latent anger toward your ex on your new lady. Avoid this by just letting those feelings go and starting fresh.

3- Learn from your mistakes

 

Once youve gotten rid of the negative emotions, you can begin to view your past relationship as a learning experience. Think about why you broke up and the reasons you were incompatible.

By taking this extra step, you will ensure that you dont repeat the same mistakes that eventually led to your breakup, and youll be that much closer to discovering the traits that really matter to you in a mate.

4- Talk to your new girlfriend

 

Although this may seem counterintuitive, it is a good idea to talk to your new girlfriend about your ex. That way, she will understand where youre coming from and she wont misinterpret anything you do or say.

However, dont go on ad nauseum about her because this will probably scare your new girl away, and then youll have to start this list of steps all over again.

5- Cut off contact with her

 

The general consensus among people Ive talked to seems to be that exes cant ever "just be friends." Although the optimists among us like to think that its possible to retain a friendship with their ex, the realists know that this is just not going to happen. There are always unresolved issues that cause former lovers to act in strange ways.

The faster you accept this as a truth, the better off youll be. So stop calling her and showing up where you know shell be, and focus your attention on your new girlfriend.

6- Put her picture away

 

While youre at it, collect all the memorabilia of your past relationship, such as pictures, letters, clothing, and any other trinkets that you amassed, and throw them out. If youre the type of person that never throws anything away, put everything in a box, close it and stash it in a closet or storage space.

7- Find a new favorite spot

 

Try not to take your new flame to the same restaurants and clubs you went to with your ex, as this will only bring up memories of your times together and cause you to waste your energy thinking about her instead of your new girlfriend.

The best thing to do is find a new restaurant or fun spot that neither of you has ever been to before and experience it for the first time together. Who knows, it may even become "your place."

8- Introduce your new girlfriend to friends and family

 

Introducing your new lady to your friends and family will help you move on. When they begin to think of the two of you as a couple and forget about the woman you used to be with, it will be that much easier for you to do the same.

9- Dont compare

 

Do not compare your new girlfriend to your ex in any way, shape or form. Period.

10- Appreciate your new girlfriends uniqueness

 

Instead, focus on what makes your new girlfriend unique. How is she special? What does she do that no one else can do? By answering these questions, you will be able to zone in on the qualities you love about her and appreciate them all the more.

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