How to just be friends with your ex girlfriend

In most relationships, the time to say goodbye usually arrives at one point or another -- unless you intend to walk down the aisle, of course (and even then...). With your ex, youve shared memories that will either make you laugh or cry, and its time to take your experiences, put them in your back pocket and move on. But somewhere on the road of parting ways couples feel the need to promise to stay friends -- which ultimately leads to more broken promises.

So, can you ever be friends with your ex? Does it have to be all-or-nothing?

 

Comfort zone 

 

Although it would make things much easier in the dating world, relationships rarely see mutual breakups. One person is usually the heartbreaker, while the other mulls over the breakup for weeks, even months. Its never easy to break up with someone youve shared good times with (and even if they were bad times, they were still times).

But the person who does the breaking up feels like less of a bad guy by offering that sense of truce: "Its not you, its me. We can still be friends." This peace offering of friendship provides the dumper with the solace of knowing they arent such a horrible person because they still want to be friends with their ex. 

 

Ive created a monster

 

Not only does it give the dumper the comfort of knowing they arent monsters, but by wanting to remain friends, it also allows the dumper to feel that their former lover will still be in their life, and they wont have to miss having them around.

So now the dumper can move on with their life with ease, and with the pleasure of having coffee with their former mate every so often. The person who got dumped, however, has the pleasure of being constantly reminded of the person who ripped out their heart when they receive friendly messages and e-mail.

Obviously, these messages on the machine and coffee dates dont last long, and if they do, they end even worse than the breakup.

So, having considered all this, can you ever be friends with your ex? We say no. Find out why. 

 

exes must stay that way because

Youve seen each other naked

Although it may be possible to have casual sex with a friend, even this can damage a relationship. As hard as it is to accept, its difficult to bring a relationship back to its normal state after having been intimate with someone. You will always have an image of that person naked, and memories of the trysts will always be triggered by the smell of her skin or perfume, or even by hearing a song that you once made passionate love to.

And as thick-skinned as you are, its hard to see the person in the same light after being entangled in each others skin and sharing a moment of sheer ecstasy with one another.

Can you ever be friends with your ex? We say no, and we have more reasons...

You cant confide in each other

As hard as two exes try to stay friends, they can never really confide in each other. How do you tell your ex that you have a hot date tonight or that you and your new lover are going away on a steamy getaway? You cant even tell your ex that the reason youre smiling so much is because a woman has just pleasured you like never before.

You can tell her these things, but new lovers and mates are always going to be a sensitive issue. Its even harder to tell her how hurt you were that your date stood you up the other night, thanks to your sense of pride.

Remaining friends seems to provide us with the security blanket that the person who has been in our life will still be there, and we can call on them every once in a while to find out how they are, however, well never actually know how they really are.

There will always be one-sided bitterness

Since breakups are rarely one-sided, one party will always feel resentment or bitterness toward the other. Even if your ex is feigning friendship, shes not sincerely your friend. If it seems like plans with your new potential woman are always being sabotaged, they just might be.

Jealousy comes into play

And where theres bitterness, theres jealousy. And the truth of the matter is that its hard to be sincerely happy for your ex when shes just found the new love of her life.

You dont want them with anyone else

Its human nature to be jealous or resentful when our ex finds a new person to cuddle up to, even if our feelings have somewhat faded. It becomes a race of who will find the new lover first, a challenge especially brought on by the person who was dumped. Even for the person who did the breaking up, the thought of someone else taking your place in the memories that you and your ex shared is hard, and sometimes extremely painful to fathom.

Passion still exists

Even if your relationship was completely problem-ridden, chances are that the passion and sexual chemistry between the two of you still exists (unless lack of attraction was the reason for your breakup). This is a recipe for disaster because it means that every time you get together under this new "friendship" premise, the lust and passion you have makes it more likely that youll end up in "one more" night of unbridled "goodbye" sex, for old times sake. This brings you right back to square one -- how you felt right after your breakup, and just when you were doing so well. 

 

moving on 

 

Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you dont want part of your past still programmed in your cell phone. Although its easier for the dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it means being single again, getting back into the dating scene and no longer making that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share.

But having that person lingering in your life as a constant reminder makes it even harder to move on with your life, meet new people and turn a fresh page. Its almost like keeping one foot in the past, and another struggling to make it back into the pickup scene.

It also might be a better idea to leave things with pleasant memories of the other person, rather than drag the potentially doomed relationship through the mud.

In a perfect world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed reasoning and rational thought, its impossible. Unless the two of you were the best of friends before, both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly mutual breakup, both have no qualms about either of you seeing new people, and have both instilled a policy of total honesty, youre better to leave the friendship behind... along with the memories.

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How to contact your ex girlfriend

I recommend two methods of resuming contact with her: through Facebook, or texting her on your phone. (I realize there are other “social” sites besides Facebook, but let’s face it, Facebook is the site everyone uses these days.)

These two methods allow you to “gauge the temperature” and feel her out. You can contact her in a way that seems low-key and casual, and you’re allowing her time to respond—so that when she does respond, you’ll be able to get a sense of how she’s feeling towards you, and whether she might be missing you (or would rather not hear from you at this time).

If you call her phone and she doesn’t answer, you’re probably going to assume she saw your number and chose to ignore it, which is going to irritate you (whether she actually saw your phone call or not). And if you call her and she does answer, you might be catching her off-guard, or distracting him while she’s in the middle of something. You’re going to be irked if she doesn’t make time to chat with you, or doesn’t sound pleased to hear from you—when in fact, she might have his hands full with something the moment (or might not even have a working cell phone or internet connection at this time!).

The bottom line is, the chances of you calling her out of the blue and catching her at a time, when she’s completely freed up and in the mood to chat, are not very good.

And let’s face it—jumping on a phone call with your ex, after spending this much time out of contact, is nerve-wracking! Your emotions can easily get the better of you. You might blurt out things you didn’t plan on saying, or he might sense your nervousness and think you must be desperate to get back with her. This doesn’t send the right message.

And this is why a cleverly written Facebook message (or text message) is much more likely to get a response from him, and open the door towards a possible reconciliation.

The rules here are simple:

• Be upbeat and friendly.
• Keep it lighthearted. Stick with fun topics—nothing sad or involving a problem you are having.
• Tell her (or show her) something that reminds him of the connection you used to share with her.
• YOU must be the one to end the interaction.

One effective method is to way to start this off is to send her a message that triggers a positive memory in her mind. For example, make her recall a special place or activity that the two of you used to enjoy together.

Examples:

“Hi, I just grabbed some sushi at that amazing restaurant on Melrose. Made me think of the time we went there with your sister. Hope you’re well.”

(That one is especially powerful because it reminds her of the fact that you know her family—in other words, you’ve got a connection with her that runs much deeper than any of other guys who might be orbiting her.)

Another example:

“Hey, I just ran into Jeff and Nina. They say hello. Remember that crazy fun weekend we all spent in New York?”

Another method is to send her something funny or random that you know will make her smile, like a hilarious picture or YouTube video. (Surf your friend’s profiles on Facebook, and you might come up with something amusing to share with her.) You know her sense of humor. You know her interests. You can include a subject header (if you’re using Facebook) or a line in your text message that says something like:

“Hey, I thought you’d get a kick out of this. Hope you’re well ?”

If she sends a prompt, friendly reply to your message, that’s a very good sign. But it’s not time yet for you to get into an extended chat with her. If she tries to open up a conversation, give a short, friendly reply and end the conversation for now.

Tell her you have to run. Or that you’re getting into a taxi. Or that you’re at the check-out counter at the grocery store. Or that you have to get back to work. Give a quick reason why you aren’t available to chat. You need to be the one who ends the interaction.

Or, you can trigger her curiosity—and stir up pangs of jealousy—by sending a text that subtly implies that you’re on a date, or about to go on one. You’re not coming out and TELLING her that you’ve got a hot date. You’re planting a seed of an idea in her head, and letting her imagination fill in the rest.

Example:

YOU: Hey, quick random question…do you know if the new Angelina Jolie movie is any good? I know you’re a big fan of hers, you’ve probably seen it twice already ?

HIM: I haven’t seen it yet but I really want to. How have you been?

HER: Doing really well. I guess we’ll see that movie tonight then. We’re going to grab a bite to eat first…thanks, hope you’re doing great ?

Notice the use of the word “we” in that example. Who’s this “other person” you’re going to see the movie with? Naturally, your ex is going to assume it’s a woman—which sends the message that you’re moving on and enjoying life.

If you receive a positive response to your first message (as in the examples above), the door is now open. If your message triggered the right emotions inside of her, she might call or email you very soon (i.e. to ask how the movie was).

Again, keep your responses friendly, upbeat and BRIEF. It’s not time to jump into a 30-minute chat session with her. If she wants to chat, I’d give her no more than five minutes, max.

If she’s now reaching out to you with text messages or phone calls, and not just replying to the ones you send, it’s pretty safe to assume she’s thinking about the possibility of getting back together with you. She might suggest meeting up to talk. If she does, and you’re ready to take this step, you should choose the time and place. Pick a location that you’ve been to before, and that you know will be casual and comfortable, and not crowded or noisy.

I’d suggest meeting her for drinks after 7pm. Pick a cozy lounge-bar where you’ll be find comfortable seating and hear each other talk. You can meet her for lunch or coffee as well, but you may be more successful if you arrange this meeting in the evening, rather than during the middle of the day, when her mind might be on other things. Plus, this gives you a reason to dress up a bit, and having a couple of drinks with her (if she drinks alcohol) will help to loosen her up a little. A good lounge-bar will also have a fun, social, relaxed vibe that will help to remove some of the pressure from the situation.

If she doesn’t suggest getting together, then you can send her a message to propose meeting up. The key here is to give a reason why you want to see her, and again, you need to keep it sounding lighthearted and fun.

You might do this by telling her you to share some “good news” with her—and then leave her in suspense about what the news is. Or mention how “the craziest thing happened to me the other day, you’re going to laugh when I tell you…”

As for what this “fun stuff,” “good news” or “crazy thing” is, it doesn’t need to anything super important. It can be something positive that’s been going on with you lately. Maybe you joined some type of new class, or you picked up a new hobby. Perhaps you’re working on an exciting new project at your job (or contemplating a career switch)…one of your mutual friends could have shared some good news with you, or something happened with a couple you both used to know…really, it can be anything.

It isn’t a topic you’re going to dwell on when you meet up with her. The only reason you’re mentioning it in the message is to create a reason to get together with her and build a bit of anticipation.

Example:

YOU: Want to grab a bite to eat on Saturday? Got some really funny news to tell you.

HER: Sure ok, what do you want to tell me?

YOU: I’ll fill you in on Saturday. See you at Tribeca Café at 2pm, k?

HER: OK…

YOU: Great, I gotta run! See you then ?

The way you phrase this is important. Don’t tell her that you want to “talk.” That sounds too serious. She might be uncomfortable with the idea of having a conversation with you right now about relationship stuff. You want to sound upbeat, positive and casual—like this meeting is no big deal, and there are no strings attached.

You’ve probably got a good idea of what her schedule is like. Suggest a time and location that makes it easy for her to agree to.

If she tells you he’s busy that day, suggest another time. If she puts up resistance and you get the sense that she’s avoiding meeting up with you, don’t act offended. Exit gracefully. Give her more time. If you’re now chatting or texting with her on a fairly regular basis, next week you can come up with another reason to arrange a casual, friendly meetup with her.

The mode of communication you use to contact her is up to you. Some people handle a lot of their day-to-day chatting on Facebook. Others prefer texting. And if you’re not that comfortable with either of those, you can do it it the old-fashioned way and give her a call. Use the style of communication that you used most frequently during your relationship.

Personally, in a situation like this, I prefer texting or chatting online because it allows me to compose my thoughts and say exactly what I want to say.

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How to communicate with ex girlfriend

Realizing that you’re still very much in love with your ex girlfriend is a bittersweet feeling. On the one hand you’ll feel sad knowing that you’re no longer with her. With that comes the realization that you need to do something to change that and reunite with her. If you truly believe that your ex is the woman you are destined to be with, there is help available to you. Learning how to communicate with your ex girlfriend if you want her back ensures you get the second chance you want. Knowing what to say to her and what not to say will help smooth the road towards a happy, fulfilling future together.

Learning how to communicate with your ex girlfriend if you want her back begins with understanding the part that emotions play in this. Some men mistakenly believe that if they call their ex while crying or while they’re feeling extra emotional, that she’ll find it romantic. As much as women claim they want a man who is in touch with his feelings, they don’t want that at all after a break up. She doesn’t want to have to deal with you when you’re crying or pleading with her. She won’t find it appealing at all. In fact, she’ll likely think it’s distasteful and desperate. Each and every time you speak with her, do it with a smile in your voice. Be calm, collected and in control. This one thing will go a long way towards getting her back.

You also need to say specific things to her if you hope to reestablish a future with her. You’re going to use a bit of reverse psychology in this instance but that’s because it works amazingly well. Tell your ex girlfriend that you are okay with the break up. If you want to take it a step further, tell her that you were also considering splitting up with her. This sounds like the wrong thing to say if your goal is to get her back, but it actually works. The reason it does is that you’ll be rejecting her and anytime someone feels rejection they work to rid themselves of it. It’s a really difficult emotion and the only way to stop feeling it once you do is by getting back whoever rejected you. In this case, that’s you.

You also need to wish her well and tell her to take care. Once you do that, your job is to disappear from her life for a few weeks. Again, this is going to feel wrong, but it’s not. Your ex needs to have an opportunity to feel what her life is like without you. The only way for that to happen is if you stop talking with her. This will only take a couple of weeks and although that feels like a very long time, it’s not. Keep yourself busy doing other things and before you know it, your ex will be the one calling you.

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How to conquer your ex girlfriend

Are you looking for how to get your ex back and have a much better relationship? Those are two of the major questions for many couples who are in the middle of a breakup or have recently broken up.

We will just touch on a couple of opening moves, so to speak concerning the absolute best way to achieve getting your ex back.

Step one is to give yourself a little space. When you conquer your emotions and are patient, your chances of getting what you really want go up dramatically. You really need to give your emotions some time to settle down before making any major decisions concerning the future of your relationship.

[Just  a side note, if you are in the process of making any major decisions you should always gather information and then give yourself a little time to process the information before making a decision.]
So, even if your ex is calling you or contacting you in any way, if you are still interested in them you should let the know you are glad to hear from them but dont have any long conversations and dont get together with them on the spur of the moment. If they want to get together set up a time in a week or two.

This will help you in several huge ways. It will help you have your emotions under much better control than getting together quickly will. Also, if you have broken up, it will give you some time to figure out where things went wrong. If you jump right back into the situation before really figuring out how to get your ex back in the right way, your reconciliation will be a short one.

After 20 years of marriage, I can tell you one of the best resources I have seen for how to get your ex back and how to improve any relationship is called the Magic of Making Up.

Along with helping couples know how to get your ex back, the Magic of Making Up brings new perspectives on developing long term, successful relationships, some of which were new to me even after all these years.
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How to be friends with your ex girlfriend

Figuring out how to be friends with your ex-girlfriend is the only thing harder than figuring out how to deal with the breakup. Many people want to stay friends with their exes because they have such a connection to their ex after sharing their life’s most intimate details with them. Learning how to separate your past relationship from your new found friendship can be tricky.

1. Determine you and your ex-girlfriend are both thinking of the same kind of friendship. Make sure that you both want the same kind of friendship. Saying, “I still want to be friends” when breaking up is a very common phrase to say. You need to determine the kind of friendship that you and your ex-girlfriend both want to have. And yes you both must agree on the kind of friendship as well! Are you going to keep in touch online, visit each other often, or are you just going to be kind in public settings?
2. Agree that your past hurt is to be left in your past. Sometimes it is hard to be friends with your ex-girlfriend because one of you may have a grudge with the other from your failed relationship. If you couldn’t make your relationship work then how can you make a friendship work dwelling on the failed relationship? Talk to your ex-girlfriend and make sure you both agree that your friendship means enough to leave old heartaches in the past.
3. Realize that certain privileges are gone. No matter who ended the relationship you have lost your right to care about who she talks to, what she does, and most importantly who she dates! As a friend you can try to express your concern if you think she is making a bad choice, but she doesn’t have to listen to you or take your word for more than any other average friend of hers any longer. According to Life Script, the hardest part of breaking up is realizing that you won’t be involved in your ex’s daily life anymore.” Can you handle that realization?
4. Draw lines and stick to them firmly! Just like your past heartaches anything from your past as a couple should not be relived as a friendship. This does not mean that you cannot continue to go to the same places together, it just means that you cannot do it in the same manner. Being friends with your ex-girlfriend means that you can now treat her like one of the guys or a random friend. Don’t pay for her drinks, her dinner, her movies, or her shopping any longer. You are just another friend of hers and you need to make sure she respects that. Also this means if you agree on friendship, those friends with benefit thoughts need to exit your mind quickly.
5. Find it within yourself to forget what you had. Learning how to be friends with your ex-girlfriend means that you need to learn how to let bygones be bygones. You ended your relationship because clearly one or both of you were not happy. Now that you are choosing to be friends with your ex that does not mean it is now safe to continue the parts of your relationship you enjoyed but treat her like a friend the rest of the time.

Most importantly you need to be sure your actions are telling your ex-girlfriend that you are only friends. If you were the one to end the relationship as well as the one who chose to be friends some girls may take that as a sign that you aren’t over them. Becoming friends with your ex-girlfriend quickly after breaking up could be a very slippery slope. Step carefully, and be cautious that you are not crossing the line back into a relationship with your ex-girlfriend.
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How to be friends with an ex girlfriend

When you break up with a girl or she breaks up with you, you may not feel ready to break off communication with her. You may get along great, but dont do well in a relationship together. Many men have found it possible to be friends with an ex-girlfriend; heres how you can, too.

Instructions

·        Evaluate your feelings. If youre going to be friends with an ex, you have to consider how you feel about her. If you still love or have romantic feelings for her, friendship probably wont work. You may not be able to see her dating someone else without feeling jealous.

·        See how your current girlfriend feels about it. Before embarking on a friendship with an ex-girlfriend, take a step back and think about how any current or future girlfriends may feel about the situation. If you think it may make them feel insecure or jealous, you may want to avoid it.

·        Keep the past out of it. If youre going to be friends with her, youll have to let go of any bad feelings you have about the relationship or breakup. You probably should keep conversations in neutral territory and avoid reminiscing about when the two of you dated.

·        Read a relationship advice book. The book "Sex With Your Ex" by Yvonne Fulbright can give you the dos and donts of having a healthy post-breakup relationship with your ex-girlfriend (see Resources below).

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How to become friends with your ex girlfriend

All of these ex-girlfriend horror stories you guys have been sending in got me thinking: Can you really ever be friends with your ex? That depends on several factors: When did you date? And how long did you date? For our purposes, let’s assume an "ex-girlfriend" constitutes someone you dated for at least one year and did one or more of the following activities with: roller skating, apple picking, brunching on the regs, couch shopping, play-fighting that turns into actual fighting, pottery making, butt-licking, mutually resenting, butt licking while mutually resenting. In these instances, it is impossible to stay friends with an ex-girlfriend, unless friends means that you have consistent, exclusive sex and vacation with each other’s parents.

I saw an ex-girlfriend last weekend; here’s an actual snippet of our conversation: "Oh, is it 6? I have to take my pill. Don’t want to forget that one, haha." Yeah, HILARIOUS. LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH THE JOKES. Let me break this down; "pill" is another way of her saying "the thing that I take to keep me from having babies because of all the sex I’m having"; and "don’t want to forget that one" means, "if I have a baby, I’ll need to stop with all the great sex I’m having with people that aren’t you... Also, remember when I made you wear condoms? Well, f*ck you."

Now I was completely unaffected emotionally by this (I wish her nothing but the best — I’m only writing an article on the Internet about it), but competitively, I just can’t let this go. What can I do? Is there a Man equivalent to the “I have to take the pill” line?

At that moment, I wish I could have reached into my pocket, pulled out a used condom, flopped it down on the bar and — as my semen splashed all over her face — said, "Oops! Is it 6? I forgot to take this used condom out of my pocket from the sex I had earlier. Anyway, what were you saying about your friend with cancer?" And then she would have licked a bit of my c*m from the side of her mouth and said, "My God, it still tastes like all of my dreams." But of course none of that happened. All I could do was fumble around for something to say -- so now I look uncomfortable, BUT NOT BECAUSE I CARE! It’s because I want to win at the game she decided to start. If someone put a Connect 4 game in front of you, YOU’RE GOING TO PLAY SOME FUCKING CONNECT 4! So she walks out of the bar, thinking, "Oh, he misses me," but in reality, she started this "ex-dance" and I happened to slip on the banana peel she placed on the dance floor of resentment.

This is exactly why you can never stay friends with an ex. Inherent in the designation of ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend is "you weren’t good enough for me." It’s a simple fact, and millennia of evolution have trained us to be competitive to survive. There’s this segment of girls that believes they are above the fray, that ex-boyfriends are just a great opportunity to have another close friend. This is a repulsive denial of the highest order: a sneaky trick. They are aware of the competition (sometimes subconsciously), and their tactic is to pretend that no game even exists.

Imagine children playing tag, and one kid says the game is over, she’s not playing tag anymore, and then comes up to you, says "Game’s back on! TAG YOU’RE IT! I HAVE GREAT SEX WITH OTHER DUDES!" Except we’re adults, and these women will suck you in with gifts, dinner, dangle the opportunity of casual sex just in front of you, and then just randomly let their diaphragm fall out of their vag*na as you’re walking out of the restaurant, and give you a look that says, "Huh, must’ve gotten pounded loose last night -- that guy had amazing core strength." They are Trojan horses, making you take your guard down, assuring themselves victory.

What can a reasonable man do? The only way to handle this is to never let them in. Unless you truly believe there is a possibility that you will get back together with her (there isn’t), why bother? You know how you win the game? Stop playing it. Don’t call her, don’t text her, ignore her invitations to come "hang out with her and her friends." She only wants you around so she can prove she’s better than you. That sounds cynical, but I really mean that. She has an obsession with the attention, she can’t handle not having it, she can’t handle the idea that she’s no longer wanted. It will drive her insane.

And after you spend a few months doing that, and she’s at her lowest, most desperate point... call her up. Hopefully, she remembered to take her pill at 6 p.m., because it will be the best hate-sex of your life.
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How to make your ex girlfriend want you back

The Best Way To Win Back Your Girlfriend Isnt Always The Most Obvious

Getting dumped hurts.  Either you choose to accept it and move on, or take the other road: you fight to repair your relationship, and somehow get back together with your ex girlfriend.

If youre looking for ways to make your ex want you again, youll need to know which methods and techniques work... and which do not.

Keeping a level head and a clear mind is an important part of any process, no matter what goal youre trying to accomplish.  This goes double when it comes to repairing a broken relationship.  Right now you might be feeling a whole host of crazy emotions that are completely overwhelming you and that youre fighting to control.  Dont fight them.  Embrace and process them, so you can get past them first.  Once you can do that, you can start planning on exactly what methods youll need to win back your ex.

Understanding Why She Left... A Critical Part of Getting Your Ex Back

Figuring out what your ex wants probably wasnt an easy task while the two of you were dating.  And now that youre apart?  Just imagine how hard it will be.  If your ex has broken ties with you and you no longer communicate, it might seem like a hopeless task to figure out why she left in the first place.  Still, you need to figure out what caused her to put the brakes on your relationship.

Before learning how to make your ex girlfriend want you back, learn what you did to drive her away... if anything at all.  Some girlfriends get bored, are annoyed by your bad habits, or were sick of fighting all the time.  Others break up with you because they want to date someone else.  Identifying and concentrating on the issues that are within your control can help create a future environment thats a lot more attractive to her than the one she left.  Doing this correctly (and honestly) can go a long way toward getting back together with your exgirlfriend.

Accepting Things and Moving On

Your girlfriend dumped you for a reason, and after some long, hard thoughts on the matter.  Telling her that shes making a mistake is only going to piss her off.  Trying to get her to change her mind?  Ditto.  For this reason its simply foolish to fight the break up.  Its always best to nod your head, roll with it, and get out of there as quickly and quietly as possible.

Know what you left with in such a case?  Your dignity.  Oh yeah, and you brought something else with you too: your ex girlfriends respect.  Those two things will become hugely important later on, when youre working to get your ex girlfriend back.

Breaking Up Without Looking Back

Hey, guess what?  Most breakups never end cleanly.  Usually, the person who got dumped is always trying to call, text, or email the person who did the dumping.  In this case, thats you... so avoid those mistakes.  Crying and begging will get you nowhere, and will actually damage your chances of a future relationship with your ex.

In some cases though, your ex might try to stay in touch with you.  Hell, she may even offer to remain friends.  Sounds good right?  WRONG.  Tell her "thanks, but no thanks".  Let your exgirlfriend know that you love her too much to sit through a platonic friendship, "pretending" to be buddies with her.  You should love yourself too much as well... because trying to carry on a friendship with your ex is only going to torture yourself every time you see or hear from her.

Giving Your Ex Time To Miss and Want You

Once your ex understands that ending things means she wont be able to see or hear from you anymore, its going to upset her.  She probably wanted to end things on her own terms; slowly over time.  This gives her the opportunity to grow accustomed to not having you around, but at the same time be able to reverse the break up if she feels like she made a mistake.  Uh-uh.  Youre not sitting around on the bench, waiting for that.

Instead, you want your ex girlfriend back in your arms.  This means letting go of her.  Only be allowing your ex some time alone can you really give her the chance to miss you.  Want to know how to make your ex girlfriend want you back?  Give her space.  Give her the space she said she wanted when she first broke up with you... then give her ten galaxies more.  Your ex should be drowning in all the silent, empty space you give her.  Her phone should be a vacant, barren expanse of NO incoming calls from you.  Her text-message center should reverberate with echoes. Moths should fly out of her email inbox.

Once your ex sees what her life is going to be like without you around?  Thats when shell start wanting you back.  This is your ultimate goal, and one you can arrive at only with cool patience and self-control.

Contacting Your Ex Girlfriend When The Moment Is Right

Ultimately, you cant get back with your ex unless you DO talk to her.  Before you make the decision to initiate contact, you should explore other options.  There are some excellent methods for getting your ex to contact you, and you should know exactly What To Say To Your Ex Girlfriend when you first talk again.

You should also know the right time to contact your girlfriend: in the evening.  Catching her right before bed is your best bet; shes unwinding from the stress of the day and may even be laying there on her pillow staring up at the ceiling, perhaps even thinking about you.

The Ultimate FAQ For Getting Your Exgirlfriend Back

The process of winning your ex back contains many variables.  What should you do if shes dating someone else?  Can you still get her back?  What if you cheated, or she was unfaithful to you?  Special circumstances surrounding your break up may require all different kinds of treatment - be sure to check out the Ultimate Get Back Ex Girlfriend FAQ and see if theres something you can apply to your own unique situation.

Other Resources To Save Your Relationship

Nothings scarier than the possibility of losing someone you really love.  For this reason, you should never leave getting back together with your ex "to chance".  Some guys feel like they can pick up the phone and just wing it - maybe theyll succeed, and maybe theyll fail.  But if you want to absolutely maximize your chances of dating your ex again?  You need to gather all the knowledge you can before making a single move.

The following guide contains over 20+ pages of fantastic free information on How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Want You Back.

And for those wishing step-by-step instruction on all aspects of reversing a break up, check out this amazing 8-Step Process on How to Get Back an Ex Girlfriend!

So read up... and good luck!
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