Showing posts with label crisis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crisis. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Love Relationship Advice

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For most people, its pretty easy to find love.  The challenge often seems to be to be able to make it last.  Keeping your love for each other strong is not impossible.  You just have to understand why it falls apart and make sure you, and your partner, avoid those traps.  Thats where love relationship advice comes in handy.
With the advent of online dating sites there are more ways than ever to meet the one.  Its a much better method than cruising the bar scene looking for someone special.  For most couples the first few months is pretty easy.  You are falling in love and you think the other person is perfect.  You can see no wrong in them or what they do.  And maybe there isnt anything wrong with the way they, or you, act in the early stages of a relationship.
They say that familiarity breeds contempt and if thats true it would go a long way to explaining why the longer a relationship goes on the more it tends to break down.
Here is a list of some of the things you, and your partner, need to be on the lookout for in your relationship.  These are common traps that many couples fall into without realizing it.  If you know what to watch out for and can avoid these mistakes you will have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and healthy for a long time:
1. Unrealistic expectations.  As I said above we think our new love can do no wrong.  As our relationship slowly changes from falling in love to being in love and all the day to day stresses and mundane tasks we must face, its easy to lose some of that early glow.  This can be a pivotal time in many relationships, sometimes the couple will think that they just dont love each other anymore and break up.
In reality, in any long term relationship, you will spend a much longer time in this normal mode than you will in the early glow mode.  Its important to recognize that this is all a normal progression in an adult relationship.
2. Inability to effectively communicate.  Men and women express themselves differently...thats just the way it is.  The good news is that you can learn to communicate with your partner effectively, if youre willing to take some time to learn how. The whole its a guy thing or its a girl thing is only true to a point, and is largely just a cop out.  In reality any mature, intelligent adult should be able to learn how to talk to their partner, and even more importantly, listen to their partner.  The real question is do you care enough about your partner and the relationship to take the time?
3.  Dont confuse sex with love.  This may sound obvious but men and women tend to look at sex in different ways.  Women, for example, tend to look at sex as a way to connect with someone they love on a deeper physical level.  Yes, its pleasurable, but the pleasure isnt just physical its emotional as well.
Men tend to look at sex as definition of who they are as a man.  For them too, its pleasurable but its also a way to prove their desirability and masculinity.  Sometimes when a relationship gets to the comfortable stage this difference in views about sex can create problems.  If one partner doesnt seem sexually interested in the other partner it can create severe stress on the relationship.
If your relationship gets to this point, it might help if you and your partner can remember that sex is only one small component of every thing your relationship is made up of.  While for many couples, having an active sex life is an important part of the relationship, its important to understand that as you age and your relationship grows, it probably wont be  quite as important as it once was. That doesnt mean your partner doesnt love you or find you attractive, its just a fairly common way for long term relationships to go.
I hope this love relationship advice will help you hold on to the love youve found.  Being able to make a deep, long lasting, connection with another person really is one of lifes blessings.  Make your connection last by learning how to avoid the pitfalls of some relationships.
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Saturday, April 23, 2016

Is Your Marriage In Crisis

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Is your marriage in crisis? Would you know it if it was? Do you recognize the warning signs? A marriage in crisis can sometimes disguise itself as a normal but slightly boring marriage until it’s too late to change it and save it.
You have to pay attention to all the signs of health in your marriage to make sure your partnership is going strong. First, look at how often you have sex. While sex isn’t the whole point of the marriage—it’s much more important than just that—it’s a crucial part of a healthy marriage.
A marriage in crisis is usually pretty easy to spot by looking at your sex lives. Do you have sex infrequently? Is it a big, scheduled deal when you do have sex? Have you stopped having sex spontaneously just when you feel like it?
When sex becomes a scheduled activity, a marriage can certainly recover. In fact, most marriages go through a phase very much like that when a baby is born. Each child makes it more and more difficult to find the time to spend with our partner over a meal or before leaving for work, let alone finding a spare hour to make love.
But a marriage in crisis never breaks out of that pattern. Instead, even when the time is there the partners don’t have spontaneous sex. Usually there’s very little physical affection shown during the day either. People in love and happy to be together tend to hug and kiss different times through the day.
A loving couple will often touch each other just in passing. One will give the other a fast kiss on the cheek or forehead for no reason. Does this still happen in your marriage? Do you ever sneak a quick pinch or pat on the bottom or a sexy look in the middle of the day?
When these things start to disappear, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. The other thing that goes in a very obvious way is common courtesy. When you say “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “please,” throughout your day to strangers more than you say them to your partner, something’s wrong.
We take our partners for granted in this way, and eventually this leads to a sort of coldness between people. There is simply no reason not to be affectionate and thank our partners (and say please) during the course of everyday life.
The good news is that if you’re seeing these warning signs, you can start working right now to correct them. And you don’t have to make a fanfare about it or announce the change. Simply change what you do.
Make a point of giving affection and unexpected kisses. Be very polite again, and say please and thank you, even when it’s just the two of you. Make time for making love. Do these things and your marriage in crisis could soon be back on track and you could be happier than ever.
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