But you can’t do it all, and you can’t have it all. At least you can’t without personal sacrifice and exhaustion. Add saving your relationship and preserving your marriage into the mix, and it’s a sure recipe for fatigue and depression.
When things have gone wrong in your relationship, you should remember that you’re not solely responsible for fixing them. He plays a part, too, and you should let him do equal duty or at least some of it. Everything that happens, good or bad, is not only because of the relationships wife.
And if you’re the husband and the idea of keeping her happy seems daunting, you must remember that you’re not solely responsible for her happiness either. You can contribute to it, and it’s pretty easy for you to ruin it, but whether or not she’s a happy person in general is mainly up to her.
It’s important for the relationships wife to understand that men and women have different needs. This is important for the husband to realize, too. When you’re trying to heal your marriage, it might be a good idea for both of you to read books that talk about the differences between men and women.
John Gray’s books about Mars and Venus are good for pointing out the very different ways men and women feel nurtured in a relationship. They also point out how differently men view emotional things than women, and how each sometimes has an approach that’s directly opposite of what the other person may want.
Even if you feel like you share things equally and have a very balanced relationship, you might discover that it’s not. The relationships wife will tend to fall into certain roles, just as the husband does. Reading books about these differences can be an eye opening experience.
Even if your spouse isn’t interested in reading such books, you should give them a try. It’s not easy to heal a relationship when only one person seems to do all the work. But if you make an effort, very often it makes such a difference that the other person can’t help but change either.
It can be an unconscious thing, in fact. By learning the best way to approach your spouse about certain issues, or understanding the way he or she naturally deals with things, it makes you a more thoughtful and respectful partner.
That alone is enough to affect the other person’s behavior and make things better. You shouldn’t have to do everything, but this is one thing you must take upon yourself. Whether you’re the relationships wife or the husband, you’re capable of helping heal the relationship.
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